cousin online dating
My cousin, Ethan, was catfishing someone
using my pictures. He was posting my selfies all
over his social media, pretending to be me.
I finally snapped and messaged him, “Dude,
seriously? Knock it off.”
“Just a little longer, sis,” he replied. “I’m almost
at the top of the leaderboard. I’ll break up with him after this game.”
Later, Ethan did break up with his online
boyfriend. Then, Professor Hayes from the
Physics department, someone I’d only seen
across campus, asked me to come to his office.
This whole thing started a few weeks ago.
Ethan, who’s still in high school, was acting
weird. He kept posting my selfies on Instagram
with captions like, “Perfect weather for a
Starbucks run.” Then, a little while later, he’d
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post another picture of a Starbucks drink with
the caption, “Thanks, babe!”
I was so confused. I messaged him, “What the
actual heck?”
“…Oops, forgot to block you,” he replied sheepishly.
“Are you catfishing someone with my
pictures?!”
“Sis, he’s, like, amazing at Call of Duty. He’s
carrying me to victory.”
I rolled my eyes but decided not to make a big
deal out of it. “Just don’t get into trouble. And
don’t scam him for money, or I’ll tell Dad.”
He laid low for a week or so, but then the
Instagram posts started again. This time, it was
a picture of me next to a photo of a new Lego
Millennium Falcon. The caption read: “My
CO
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birthday is coming up… really want this Lego
set.”
Okay, now he was crossing a line.
I messaged him, “I said knock it off!”
“Almost there, sis. Just gotta hit the next level, then I’ll dump him.”
I wanted to teleport to his house and throttle him. “Forget the game! Stop ruining my reputation. I’ll buy you the Lego set myself.”
Half an hour later, he replied, “No need, sis, I got the Lego set.”
I immediately sent him money via Venmo.
“Return the money. Break up with him. Now.”
He begrudgingly accepted the payment and
typed back, “Fine.”
I wasn’t convinced, so I called him and gave him a serious talking–to. He apologized profusely and swore he’d stop. Since it was right before Christmas break and I was swamped with grad school work, I let it go. He stayed quiet on social media, so I thought it was over.
Then, Christmas came. I was chilling on the couch, binge–watching holiday movies and
eating candy canes, when my best friend,
Sarah, sent me a screenshot. “Uh, your cousin
is at it again.”
It was Ethan’s Instagram. He’d posted every single selfie I’d ever put online. He’d even dug
up my high school graduation picture and
captioned it, “Wow, she’s changed so much!” So much for changing his ways; he’d just
changed his privacy settings.
I stormed into Ethan’s room and grabbed him
by the ear. “You’re dead meat! Stealing my
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pictures again?”
