Chapter 3
i just don’t understand how can people change overnight?|||
My mother–in–law, who once treated me as her own daughter, changed. And so did Baillie, the man I’d spent twenty years of marriage beside-
When Baillie came home that night, he found me curled up by the window, sobbing until I could barely breathe. He wrapped his arms around me, the cold from outside still clinging to his coat. Without a word, he shrugged off his jacket and tucked my frozen hands against the warmth of his sweater?
For a fleeting moment, it felt as if we’d been transported back twenty years, to a time when we were young and hopelessly in love.!!
Things were so hard back then. Baillie’s father had cut him off completely, hoping to punish him for making what he called a “mistake“-getting a vasectomy. And because I stood by Baillie, his father disliked me too.
We lived in the basement of a sprawling city, scraping by on instant noodles and stale bread. At our poorest, we couldn’t even afford basic necessities. In the harshest winters, we’d huddle together on a narrow bed, wearing every piece of clothing we owned, shivering beneath a thin blanket as we whispered into the darkness.
I cried then, too.
Back then, I kept telling myself to give up. If I didn’t, Baillie–already in frail health–might not make it through another freezing night.”
“Baillie, let’s just give up. Let’s get divorced,” I told him more than once. “Go home, apologize to your father. Maybe if you go back now, you’ll get to have a hot bowl of chicken soup again.
But Baillie just held me tighter, tucking my hands against his skin, pressing my cold feet between his own, voice trembling with fear and stubbomness.
“No, Veronica, I will never divorce you. I won’t apologize–not when I’ve done nothing wrong. Im m sorry- -the vasectomy hurt, but I did it because I didn’t want you to suffer. And yet, here we are, and you’re still suffering because of me.”
The taste of those long–ago tears lingered on my tongue, bitter and familiar, mingling with the fresh ache of tonight!
“Baillie, let’s move, okay?“%
“You want children. We can have our own, can’t we?
“Why?” I asked. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted a child?“%
Silence fell–long and heavy, like a blow that rattled me back to the present.
I blinked and turned to look at Baillie, dazed. As I followed the uncertain line of his jaw, I suddenly realized we weren’t alone.
it was my first time meeting Jenifer!!
Just like in the videos Baillie’s mother had sent me, she was young, graceful, radiating warmth and a gentle kind of beauty that made her seem every bit the nurturing mother.
And me…E
I glanced at my own reflection in the window–red, swollen eyes, puffy as walnuts, with every wrinkle at the comers laid bare by tears. I looked utterly pathetic.
A complicated emotion twisted through me something I couldn’t nume.
Jenifer’s gaze lingered on where Baillie was still trying to warm my hands. She looked genuinely hurt, though she forced herself to smile as she nudged a small boy in front of her.
Baillie, seeing her discomfort, immediately released my hands and walked over to drape a protective arm around her shoulders. He didn’t say a word–just pressed a gentle, comforting kiss to Jenifer’s forehead
A wave of bitterness rose in my chest, my fingertips, still cold, seemned to ache all over again
Jenifer touched her cheek, embarrassed, but then glanced at me, flashing a quick, triumphant smile.
“Aster, go on–this is Veronica. Say hello to Vergnica” she prompted softly
froze, staring at her in disbelief.
“What_what did you say his name was?‘|
“Aster Lambert Like the star. Baillie said he hopes that one day, Aster will shine as bright and beautiful us the stars in the sky”
numb
For a moment, everything inside my head went ment and silent
Aster murmured something to me, but I couldn’t make out a word
I looked at Baillie in shock He kept lus eyes down, unable to meet my gaze–guilt written all over his face.il
That was the name Baillie and I had chosen together, all those years ago, when we first dreamed of what to call our own child.
