Chapter 4
“You know, with my connections, making someone disappear wouldn’t be hard at all.”
His words sent a cold shock through me. I froze, just standing there, watching him disappear onto campus. My body went on autopilot, step after step, heading toward my original destination. My mind was so numb, I could barely process anything.-
At the photo studio, the girl at the front desk looked at me with such sympathy when she realized I needed a funeral portrait. She quietly offered a few comforting words, and suddenly all the hurt I’d been holding in just burst out.”
It’s strange how a stranger’s small kindness can break you down. I started crying, soaking her shoulder with my tears, but she didn’t say anything–just kept patting my back, gentle and silent, like she understood. She was a complete stranger, yet her warmth felt deeper than anything I’d gotten from my own family. When I left the studio, I found myself sitting on the curb, hugging the urn and funeral photo I’d prepared for myself, staring aimlessly into the distance.
I made up my mind to go see James at his office. Since I’d never been there, it took forever to find the place, only for the receptionist to block me at the door. No appointment, no entry. The boss was in a meeting, too busy to take calls.
I refused to give up. I dialed his number from memory, over and over. No answer. Desperate, I searched for him on social media.
I only had one day left. I just wanted James to be with me, even if it was just for a few minutes.>
I sent him a carefully written message, and waited. And waited. Two hours slipped by. Still nothing.
Time was running out, and I didn’t want to die out there by myself. So I went back home.
The house was empty. The housekeeper was out shopping. All I could hear was silence. It felt so hollow, so cold.
started making dinner earlier than usual, hoping–maybe–for someone to come home. My phone stayed quiet. No messages, no friend requests accepted.
Isat alone at the table, staring at my reflection in a hand mirror, watching the countdown clock above my head tick down. Just three hours left…
More than anything, I wanted someone to spend these last hours with me. I wondered how they’d react when I was gone. Maybe they’d even be surprised, I thought, with a bitter sort of humor.
No one in this world cared if I lived or died. Even my own family hated me.”
I cooked a whole table full of food, burning my hand on spattering oil. It stung, but it couldn’t drown out the wild, anxious excitement in my chest. Something was wrong with me–I could feel it. My nerves were shot, my hands shaking, my whole body trembling uncontrollably.
Two hours left. I sat by the door, eyes fixed on it, waiting.
With trembling hands, I picked up my phone and called James.
“James?” I said when he picked up, but he didn’t answer.
My throat tightened. “Could you… could you all come home and have dinner with me?“\
I’m about to die.”
I could actually hear my own heartbeat after I said it. I’d always told myself I didn’t care about life or death, but now all I wanted was one more look at this world. The silence on the other end stretched on and on, so long that all I could hear was my own ragged breathing.
Then, just as I started to lose hope, his voice cut through–sharp and cold, shattering me completely.
“Louisa, do you really think lying about something like this is going to make us feel sorry for you?“!
“You’ll say anything to get us to come back, won’t you? You think we’re still as easy to fool as when you were a kid?”
“Don’t forget how Mom, Dad, and Grandpa died.”
My heart dropped. No–no, that’s not true!!!
I screamed inside, but I couldn’t force out a single word. Tears ran down my cheeks and fell to the floors
I was like a puppet with my strings cut, only able to repeat, over and over, “I’m not lying. Please, I’m begging you–just this once. Please?”
