Chapter 12
“If I’d just told you sooner, maybe you wouldn’t have felt so small next to me. Maybe I wouldn’t be some kind of stain on your life. You’d see me as someone who could speak, someone who gets respect just because of her family. We wouldn’t be like rats in the gutter anymore, always looking back and remembering the bad times, even after we finally made it out.”
There was this comment online I’ll never forget: “Two rats end up together. Even after they change for the better, every time they see each other, they’re just reminded they were rats all along.”
“But Jared, we’re not rats. We’re just people–different, maybe, because of our bodies, but we live in the sunlight just like everyone else. You’re the one who thinks you’re a rat; you’re the one who can’t look at me without remembering the pain. That’s why you want to leave me behind, but you don’t want to be the bad guy, so you’re stuck in this weird place–half pity, half pride. You think you’re being noble, sacrificing your happiness for my sake, and I should be grateful, love you forever because of it. But why? I’m not desperate to marry you, and I’m not reaching above my station. We were supposed to be equals.”
I knew, from the moment I overheard him in that private room with his friends, that Jared had never seen me as his equal. That was what finally made me give up.
He listened to everything I said, silent for a long time. Then he looked up at me, a shaky smile on his lips, his voice barely steady.
He asked, “What if I said I wanted to start over? Pretend none of this ever happened. We meet again for the first time–just me, Jared, and you, the same brave, kind Elise. Would we end up together then?”
Honestly, hearing that just made me lose even more respect for him.
If he’d just said, “I was wrong, but what’s done is done. Let’s part ways and stay friends,” I might have thought better of him. But no–once he found out who I really was, that I wasn’t mute or helpless, he dropped Patricia, the girl he’d been stringing along, and immediately tried to get back together with me.”
“Jared, you really do let me down.”
J28
And because of that disappointment, leaving honestly didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.
الله الله الله
Aside from not wanting to leave Juno, I had no other family left in the country. So when I thought about going abroad to meet the grandmother Mom always said loved her best, I was actually excited.
As for Jared, he kept texting me–over and over–begging me to take him back, saying he wanted a fresh start. But a broken mirror can never be whole again, no matter how carefully you try to fix it.”
So I turned him down and left for a new country, determined not to lose myself to love again. This time, I promised I’d keep my eyes open and stop trusting so blindly. 138
Years slipped by in a blur.
Grandma’s health went downhill, especially after she heard about Mom’s accident. She never really got back up again.
She held on for three years, but that last winter, she was gone.
Grandpa, who had always been so stoic, cried like a lost child the day she died. After that, he’d just sit quietly every day, holding her photo, saying nothing. Winter passed, spring came, and Grandpa left too. He died peacefully in his favorite chair in the garden, holding photos of my mom and grandma, a gentle smile on his face.
By my fourth year abroad, I’d lost the rest of my family.
After the funerals, I took over their business–juggling clase
Sometimes, I’d hear news from home.
managing
the
company, barely sleeping at all.
149
Jared, caught up in another round of messy family drama, lost our
Yet another car accident.& Honestly, I wasn’t surprised. Both his earlier accidents happened after he lost family power struggles, too. But never walk again.
to his
cousins again and ended
up
in
time, he hurt his leg–maybe for good. He might
When Juno got married, she sent me an invitation.
So, seven years after I first left, I went home.
Juno looked beautifui in her wedding dress. She tried to hand me her bouquet, but I turned it down with a smile. I’ve never been the best at picking people, and with everything my grandparents left me, focusing on my career just felt safer.”
I went to visit my parents‘ graves.
But my business was overseas, so I couldn’t stay long.
Right before I left, Jared found me.
He was in a wheelchair, pale and thin, almost unrecognizable.X
As soon as he saw me, he said, “Someone told me life is precious. So this time, no matter how hopeless I feel, I won’t do anything stupid. Do you think, if I listen, she’ll she’ll give me another chance?”
I laughed coldly, leaning down to meet his eyes. “But do you really think the man you are now deserves her?”
He went pale, all the color draining from his face.
I’m not a saint. Honestly, I hold a grudge.
I gave him a chance to part on good terms, but he insisted on dredging up the past and acting like the victim. So I handed him back the knife he’d once stabbed me
with.
Does it hurt?
Good It should.
