When Loretta Castillo pushed open the private lounge door, she overheard a group of men debating the lethality of first loves. “Xavier, we’ve all shared—now it’s your turn. No dodging.” At that name, her hand froze. A long silence passed before Xavier Kingsley took a slow sip of whiskey. Then, his voice, rough with liquor and something darker, cut through the air: “I tattooed her name over my heart. It’s still there.” “My riding jacket has a bloodstain from our first night together. I’ve kept it for years.” “The woman I’m with now? Just a shadow of her.” Each word struck Loretta like a blade. She was the shadow. The replacement. The lie.

Chapter 1When Loretta Castillo pushed open the door to the private lounge, she walked right into a heated debate among a group of men about the lasting impact of a first love.“Xavier, come on, it’s your turn. Don’t try to weasel out of this.”At the sound of his name, Loretta’s hand froze on the doorknob.A long silence followed before Xavier Kingsley took a slow sip of his whiskey. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, rough around the edges, soaked in alcohol.“I had her name tattooed near my heart. Still haven’t had it removed.”“There’s a bloodstain on my old leather jacket—from the first time we were together. I’ve kept it all these years.”“My current girlfriend? She’s just a stand-in for her.”Every word slammed into Loretta like a bolt of lightning.She felt the blood drain from her body, her whole world turning to ice.She was just a substitute for his first love?For a moment, the room was silent. Then the men erupted into raucous cheers.“Damn, man. That’s wild.”“Trust you, Xavier—three sentences and you killed the whole game. Total romantic.”“I heard Fidelia Jimenez is coming back to the country soon. If you’ve never forgotten her, maybe you’ll finally get your shot. But what about your girlfriend? Isn’t she your sister’s best friend? If you mess this up, won’t that wreck their friendship too?”Xavier fell silent, offering no reply.As someone in the lounge stood up to leave, Loretta snapped out of her daze. Face pale, legs unsteady, she stumbled down the stairs.Outside, rain poured in sheets, but she wandered into it as if she couldn’t feel a thing.Cold raindrops mingled with her tears, streaming down her face.The world blurred before her eyes as those words played on an endless loop in her mind, dredging up memories she’d tried to bury.Xavier was her best friend’s older brother, four years her senior.The first time she met him was in high school—she and her best friend cornered by a group of thugs in an alley.Just when they thought there was no way out, Xavier roared up on his motorcycle. He pulled off his helmet with long, clean fingers, his voice cool and detached. “Are you the ones picking on my little sisters?”The moment his face came into view, Loretta could hear her heart pounding in her ears.Her best friend had always said she had a ridiculously handsome brother, but nothing could have prepared her for the real thing. Even less so when he made short work of the gang with just a few swift kicks.Back then, every girl in school had a crush—except Loretta. That day, that changed. She fell for her best friend’s brother.As she got older in college, her face and figure matured, and with a little encouragement from her friend, Loretta finally worked up the courage to pursue Xavier.She made him breakfast every morning, orchestrated accidental run-ins, found out his interests so she’d have things to talk about…She tried everything, but Xavier always treated her like a kid—never warm, never cold, just distant.Only sometimes, when he caught sight of her face, she’d see him get lost in thought.Then came the night he drove her home, and a car accident struck. Without thinking, Loretta threw herself in front of him.The brakes screeched just in time—she wasn’t badly hurt, only a small cut near her eye, no bigger than a fingernail.It was nothing serious, but Xavier panicked like never before. He rushed her to the hospital, bombarded the doctor with questions about whether the cut would leave a scar.When he was finally reassured, he relaxed, only to scold her with a stern face for risking her life.Loretta gazed up at him, eyes shining with open affection.“Because I love you.”Xavier was stunned, then gave a cold, crooked smile.“Love? You’re just a little girl—what do you know about love? How long do you think that’ll last?”“My whole life!” she blurted out. “Xavier, I’ll love you my whole life.”Maybe it was the certainty in her voice, or the sincerity in her eyes, but for the first time, Xavier reached out and touched her cheek.He sighed, finally saying the words she’d dreamed of for so long—”Loretta, let’s give it a shot.”After that, they officially became a couple.They were together for three years. Xavier was never effusive, but he gave her what he could. She never dared ask for more.Until tonight, when she overheard that conversation and her carefully built dream shattered.So that was why he sometimes stared at her face—because she was a stand-in.So that was why he was so afraid of her getting hurt—because she was a stand-in.So that was why, in their most intimate moments, he always watched her face—Because she was just a substitute.Loretta sobbed until her whole body shook. By the time she staggered home, soaked to the bone, she was completely spent. She collapsed onto the floor, utterly defeated.She had no idea how long she lay there before her mind began to clear.The tears had dried on her cheeks. Loretta reached into her bag and pulled out a business card.Half a month ago, on a whim, she’d sung an original love song for Xavier at a bar. Afterwards, a talent scout had pressed his card into her hand.He’d told her she had a beautiful voice and striking looks—had she ever thought about becoming a singer? His company would take her abroad for three years of secret training, then launch her as a star.Singing was Loretta’s greatest passion, and she’d dreamed of the spotlight more than once. But she’d turned him down—she wanted to stay close to Xavier.Still, the scout insisted she keep his contact info.Now, with the truth laid bare, there was nothing left for her here.Staring at the number on the card, Loretta lifted a trembling, rain-chilled hand and dialed.The moment the line connected, she cleared her hoarse, exhausted throat and spoke softly.“Hello, this is Loretta Castillo. I’ve decided—I’d like to sign with you.””Ms. Castillo! You’ve finally made up your mind? Great—let’s add each other, and we’ll meet face-to-face tomorrow.”Hearing the excitement in the woman’s voice on the other end of the line, Loretta nodded to herself and quietly added the contact.Not long after the call ended, footsteps sounded in the hallway outside.A few seconds later, the door opened and Xavier stepped in, umbrella in hand.He stopped short at the sight of her sitting on the floor, soaked and bedraggled. His brow furrowed. “What happened? You’re drenched.”“I forgot my umbrella.”Her wet hair hung over her face, and as the motion sensor light flicked off, Xavier couldn’t quite make out her expression.With a sigh, he ruffled her hair. “Honestly, you’re still like a kid sometimes. Next time, check the weather before you go out.”Loretta didn’t answer.When he turned and went into the bathroom, she finally pushed herself up on numb legs and headed for the other bathroom down the hall.After showering, she crawled into bed, staring blankly at the white wall.Before long, Xavier pulled back the covers and settled in beside her.As the familiar scent of cedar drifted over, Loretta couldn’t stop her mind from replaying what had happened that afternoon.On impulse, she wrapped her arms around him, then slowly, almost hesitantly, lifted the hem of his pajama shirt.Just above his heart, two bold letters were inked into his skin—FJ.It wasn’t the first time she’d seen the tattoo.Countless times, in moments of passion, she’d caught glimpses of it. She’d always been curious, but had never asked.But tonight, seeing it again, her eyes stung with tears. Her voice trembled as she choked out, “What do those letters mean?”Xavier paused for a couple of seconds, his gaze dropping to meet hers. When he finally spoke, his tone was gentle, tinged with a tenderness she hadn’t felt from him in three years.“They mean something very important.”He hesitated, then seemed to misinterpret why she’d lifted his shirt. “You got caught in the rain today. You should rest. Let’s not do this tonight.”He gently moved her hand away, pulled down his shirt, and turned off the light.The bedroom fell into deafening silence.Only her silent tears remained, flowing unchecked into the endless darkness.The next morning, Xavier was up early. He didn’t bother with breakfast—just changed his shoes and headed for the door.Rain still hammered outside in relentless sheets. Remembering how much he hated going out on rainy days, Loretta called after him, “Aren’t you off duty from flying lately? Why are you heading out?”He looked in good spirits, a rare hint of a smile softening his usually cool features as he picked up his umbrella and turned the doorknob. “I have something important to take care of. Just stay home and be good, all right?”His words blended with the sound of the door closing behind him.Watching his retreating figure disappear, Loretta turned back to the bedroom, only to spot his phone buzzing insistently on the nightstand.She picked it up and glanced at the screen.A message thread was open at the top, the name in bold letters—Fidelia.“What time does your flight land today? The rain’s coming down hard. Don’t bother leaving the terminal—I’ll come pick you up.”The warmth and concern in those words was a far cry from the curt “check the weather” she’d heard the night before.So, when it poured outside, for the person he truly cared about, he would always come running.Loretta barely had a moment to process this before footsteps approached the front door.She quickly set the phone down and slipped into the walk-in closet before Xavier came in.By the time she’d finished her makeup and emerged, the phone was gone—and so was he.She grabbed her bag and headed downstairs, catching a cab to the coffee shop she’d agreed on earlier.As soon as she arrived, Loretta spotted Dailey—the talent scout—waiting by the door.After a few polite greetings, they headed to a private booth.Dailey laid out the training schedule and the company’s plans for her future, then slid a contract across the table.Loretta froze for a second when she saw the bright red seal of Luminis Music stamped at the bottom.Luminis Music—the world’s top entertainment company. People would kill for a shot at joining them.And she’d almost turned them down.With a self-deprecating smile, she picked up the pen and, without hesitation, signed her name.Dailey’s face lit up as he took the contract back, grinning so wide his wrinkles deepened.“Ms. Castillo, when you turned me down before, I thought what a shame it was. But I’m glad you changed your mind. A real gem shouldn’t be left to gather dust. Believe me, Luminis Music is the best in the business—we’ll make sure you shine on the brightest stage. This training is closed-door, so get yourself ready. We leave in fifteen days.”Loretta made a mental note of the date and said her goodbyes with practiced politeness.On the way home, her phone rang. It was Xavier, and his voice was unusually urgent.“Are you not at home?”She blinked, startled, about to answer, but he cut in before she could speak, “Wherever you are, come to Metropolitan General Hospital. Now.”In all their years together, Loretta had never heard him sound so desperate.She hesitated for a moment, then told the driver to turn the car around.When she arrived at the emergency room, the first thing she saw was Xavier—standing there, unharmed.So it wasn’t him who was hurt. Then who—Before she could ask what had happened, a nurse hurried over and ushered her into a side room.“You’re O-negative, right?”Loretta nodded, still confused. The nurse immediately started asking her a series of questions about her health, then, with brisk efficiency, plunged a thick needle into her arm.A sharp pain shot through her, and she couldn’t help but gasp. Only then did she realize—she was here to give blood.The nurse chatted with her as she watched the blood collect.“So, what’s your relationship with that handsome guy out there? His girlfriend got hit by a car outside the airport and was rushed in. He nearly lost his mind—called in every favor he could, even got the chief of staff involved.“Our blood bank’s running low, so he kept making call after call until he got you here. I’ve never seen anyone so desperate—he must really love his girlfriend.”The words hit Loretta like a punch to the chest.She felt as if someone had grabbed her heart and squeezed, and even when they let go, she still couldn’t breathe, the ache lingering inside.So Xavier had summoned her—not for himself, but to donate blood for Fidelia.Never mind how cruel it was to ask the stand-in to save the woman she was meant to replace. He knew perfectly well her anemia was severe—Had he forgotten? Or did it simply not matter to him, as long as he could save Fidelia?Afterward, Loretta sat in the chair for a full half hour before she finally felt steady again. The whole time, Xavier didn’t come to check on her, not even once.She didn’t even have to wonder—he was with Fidelia, of course.And why wouldn’t he be? Loretta was just the substitute, never the one who truly mattered.She let out a bitter laugh, braced herself against the wall, and stepped out—just in time to see the light above the operating room flicker off.A doctor wheeled the patient out, and Xavier, visibly anxious, hurried to Fidelia’s side, pushing the gurney into the recovery room.Through the window, Loretta watched him sit at the bedside, gripping Fidelia’s pale hand, his face etched with fear and desperate hope.For as long as she’d known him, Xavier always seemed untouchable—composed, indifferent, never ruffled by anything.In five years, Loretta had never seen him look like this.So this is what he looked like when he truly loved someone.Over the next four or five days, Xavier didn’t come home.Loretta knew he was at the hospital. She didn’t call him, didn’t try to reach out.Instead, she did three things.First, she handed in her resignation at work.Second, she pulled out her suitcase and started packing.Third, she circled her departure date on the calendar.As the day drew closer, the fog in her heart slowly began to lift. She finally felt a strange sense of calm.On a clear day, just after the rainy season ended, Xavier finally came home.The moment he walked in, he noticed something was off.He glanced at the boxes stacked by the door, a frown creasing his brow. “Why did you bring all your things from the office back?”Then his eyes fell on the suitcase in the bedroom, and his breath caught. “Why are you packing?”Finally, he spotted the circled date on the calendar taped to the wall. He turned to her, confusion in his eyes. “Why did you mark the thirtieth?”Three questions in a row, and Loretta’s hands stilled.She didn’t bother hiding the truth. “I found a new job that I like better, so I quit. I’m packing because I’m moving somewhere far away. The thirtieth is when I leave.”She drew a quiet breath, steeling herself to finally say what she’d rehearsed a hundred times.“There’s something important I need to talk to you about. Do you have a moment? I—”Her words were cut short by the sudden ring of Xavier’s phone.He glanced at the caller ID—Fidelia’s name flashing on the screen—and answered at once.Through the speaker, Fidelia’s cheerful voice came through.“Xavier, thank you for looking after me these past few days. My friends are throwing me a little welcome-back party—would you like to come?”Xavier was about to say yes, then seemed to remember Loretta was there. He turned to her, hesitated, and asked, “You said you wanted to talk? Is it important?”The meaning was clear. Loretta forced a smile and shook her head. “It’s nothing. If you’re busy, go ahead.”Fidelia must have heard her voice, because she sounded surprised—and amused. “Oh, your girlfriend’s there too? Bring her along! She donated blood for me, and I haven’t had the chance to thank her properly.”At the mention of the blood donation, Xavier paused, covering the phone with his hand as guilt flickered across his face. He stepped aside to continue the call.In the end, Loretta didn’t even get the chance to refuse. Xavier came back, eager and insistent, and whisked her out the door.On the way, he finally offered an explanation for what had happened.“The woman who just called—she’s a friend. She was in a car accident when she got back into town, and the hospital was low on her blood type. I remembered you were a match, and it was urgent, so I called you. I didn’t get a chance to explain. You haven’t texted me these past few days—are you upset about what happened?”“No,” Loretta said, her voice flat. “I’ve been feeling run down. Anemia. I just needed to rest, so I didn’t reach out.”Her tone made it clear she didn’t care, not really.Seeing the pallor in her cheeks, Xavier’s expression softened, and a wave of guilt washed over him.Of course. How could he have forgotten—she had anemia.He was about to apologize, to ask what he could do to make it up to her, but she’d already closed her eyes, as if the conversation didn’t matter at all.In the end, he let the silence settle between them.Chapter 2When Loretta Castillo pushed open the door to the private lounge, she walked right into a heated debate among a group of men about the lasting impact of a first love.“Xavier, come on, it’s your turn. Don’t try to weasel out of this.”At the sound of his name, Loretta’s hand froze on the doorknob.A long silence followed before Xavier Kingsley took a slow sip of his whiskey. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, rough around the edges, soaked in alcohol.“I had her name tattooed near my heart. Still haven’t had it removed.”“There’s a bloodstain on my old leather jacket—from the first time we were together. I’ve kept it all these years.”“My current girlfriend? She’s just a stand-in for her.”Every word slammed into Loretta like a bolt of lightning.She felt the blood drain from her body, her whole world turning to ice.She was just a substitute for his first love?For a moment, the room was silent. Then the men erupted into raucous cheers.“Damn, man. That’s wild.”“Trust you, Xavier—three sentences and you killed the whole game. Total romantic.”“I heard Fidelia Jimenez is coming back to the country soon. If you’ve never forgotten her, maybe you’ll finally get your shot. But what about your girlfriend? Isn’t she your sister’s best friend? If you mess this up, won’t that wreck their friendship too?”Xavier fell silent, offering no reply.As someone in the lounge stood up to leave, Loretta snapped out of her daze. Face pale, legs unsteady, she stumbled down the stairs.Outside, rain poured in sheets, but she wandered into it as if she couldn’t feel a thing.Cold raindrops mingled with her tears, streaming down her face.The world blurred before her eyes as those words played on an endless loop in her mind, dredging up memories she’d tried to bury.Xavier was her best friend’s older brother, four years her senior.The first time she met him was in high school—she and her best friend cornered by a group of thugs in an alley.Just when they thought there was no way out, Xavier roared up on his motorcycle. He pulled off his helmet with long, clean fingers, his voice cool and detached. “Are you the ones picking on my little sisters?”The moment his face came into view, Loretta could hear her heart pounding in her ears.Her best friend had always said she had a ridiculously handsome brother, but nothing could have prepared her for the real thing. Even less so when he made short work of the gang with just a few swift kicks.Back then, every girl in school had a crush—except Loretta. That day, that changed. She fell for her best friend’s brother.As she got older in college, her face and figure matured, and with a little encouragement from her friend, Loretta finally worked up the courage to pursue Xavier.She made him breakfast every morning, orchestrated accidental run-ins, found out his interests so she’d have things to talk about…She tried everything, but Xavier always treated her like a kid—never warm, never cold, just distant.Only sometimes, when he caught sight of her face, she’d see him get lost in thought.Then came the night he drove her home, and a car accident struck. Without thinking, Loretta threw herself in front of him.The brakes screeched just in time—she wasn’t badly hurt, only a small cut near her eye, no bigger than a fingernail.It was nothing serious, but Xavier panicked like never before. He rushed her to the hospital, bombarded the doctor with questions about whether the cut would leave a scar.When he was finally reassured, he relaxed, only to scold her with a stern face for risking her life.Loretta gazed up at him, eyes shining with open affection.“Because I love you.”Xavier was stunned, then gave a cold, crooked smile.“Love? You’re just a little girl—what do you know about love? How long do you think that’ll last?”“My whole life!” she blurted out. “Xavier, I’ll love you my whole life.”Maybe it was the certainty in her voice, or the sincerity in her eyes, but for the first time, Xavier reached out and touched her cheek.He sighed, finally saying the words she’d dreamed of for so long—”Loretta, let’s give it a shot.”After that, they officially became a couple.They were together for three years. Xavier was never effusive, but he gave her what he could. She never dared ask for more.Until tonight, when she overheard that conversation and her carefully built dream shattered.So that was why he sometimes stared at her face—because she was a stand-in.So that was why he was so afraid of her getting hurt—because she was a stand-in.So that was why, in their most intimate moments, he always watched her face—Because she was just a substitute.Loretta sobbed until her whole body shook. By the time she staggered home, soaked to the bone, she was completely spent. She collapsed onto the floor, utterly defeated.She had no idea how long she lay there before her mind began to clear.The tears had dried on her cheeks. Loretta reached into her bag and pulled out a business card.Half a month ago, on a whim, she’d sung an original love song for Xavier at a bar. Afterwards, a talent scout had pressed his card into her hand.He’d told her she had a beautiful voice and striking looks—had she ever thought about becoming a singer? His company would take her abroad for three years of secret training, then launch her as a star.Singing was Loretta’s greatest passion, and she’d dreamed of the spotlight more than once. But she’d turned him down—she wanted to stay close to Xavier.Still, the scout insisted she keep his contact info.Now, with the truth laid bare, there was nothing left for her here.Staring at the number on the card, Loretta lifted a trembling, rain-chilled hand and dialed.The moment the line connected, she cleared her hoarse, exhausted throat and spoke softly.“Hello, this is Loretta Castillo. I’ve decided—I’d like to sign with you.””Ms. Castillo! You’ve finally made up your mind? Great—let’s add each other, and we’ll meet face-to-face tomorrow.”Hearing the excitement in the woman’s voice on the other end of the line, Loretta nodded to herself and quietly added the contact.Not long after the call ended, footsteps sounded in the hallway outside.A few seconds later, the door opened and Xavier stepped in, umbrella in hand.He stopped short at the sight of her sitting on the floor, soaked and bedraggled. His brow furrowed. “What happened? You’re drenched.”“I forgot my umbrella.”Her wet hair hung over her face, and as the motion sensor light flicked off, Xavier couldn’t quite make out her expression.With a sigh, he ruffled her hair. “Honestly, you’re still like a kid sometimes. Next time, check the weather before you go out.”Loretta didn’t answer.When he turned and went into the bathroom, she finally pushed herself up on numb legs and headed for the other bathroom down the hall.After showering, she crawled into bed, staring blankly at the white wall.Before long, Xavier pulled back the covers and settled in beside her.As the familiar scent of cedar drifted over, Loretta couldn’t stop her mind from replaying what had happened that afternoon.On impulse, she wrapped her arms around him, then slowly, almost hesitantly, lifted the hem of his pajama shirt.Just above his heart, two bold letters were inked into his skin—FJ.It wasn’t the first time she’d seen the tattoo.Countless times, in moments of passion, she’d caught glimpses of it. She’d always been curious, but had never asked.But tonight, seeing it again, her eyes stung with tears. Her voice trembled as she choked out, “What do those letters mean?”Xavier paused for a couple of seconds, his gaze dropping to meet hers. When he finally spoke, his tone was gentle, tinged with a tenderness she hadn’t felt from him in three years.“They mean something very important.”He hesitated, then seemed to misinterpret why she’d lifted his shirt. “You got caught in the rain today. You should rest. Let’s not do this tonight.”He gently moved her hand away, pulled down his shirt, and turned off the light.The bedroom fell into deafening silence.Only her silent tears remained, flowing unchecked into the endless darkness.