Chapter 5 Farewell Letter
I instinctively wanted to call Elizabeth right then and there. and demand an explanation. But in the end, I figured it was pointless. The truth was already out in the open anyway.
Even if she refused to divorce me, I was leaving anyway. Who knew if I’d even make it back alive? With that in mind, I set my phone down, overwhelmed by a rush of emotions.
Forget it. I don’t want to ruin my mood right before I leave.
I was about to turn off the laptop and grab my luggage when another message from Callum popped up–this time, it was a video. The thumbnail showed him and Elizabeth standing side by side on a stage, their happiness practically spilling out of the frame.
I couldn’t help but wonder if this had just been recorded, and though my chest tightened, I still hit play.
In the video, there had originally been a teacher standing onstage, introducing Gideon’s parents and asking them to share the story of their love.
Soon enough, Elizabeth stepped up, holding Callum’s hand. The same woman who once seemed so serene and detached now looked shy and bashful.
She took the mic and began, “Callum was my childhood
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sweetheart, my first love. We were classmates all the way from elementary school to university. He finally confessed to me after we graduated. Not long after, we got married, and honestly, the greatest blessing in my life is being loved by such a perfect man.”
As soon as I heard that, my eyes widened in disbelief.
Callum was Elizabeth’s first love? But when we were dating, she swore I was her first. She told me she was a blank slate and that
I needed to treat her well.
I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. Back then, I bent over backward to make her happy. After we got married, I did everything I could for her. I respected everything she believed in. And this… this is what I get?
felt like someone had ripped my heart out, smashed it to pieces, and stomped on it for good measure. The pain knocked the wind out of me. I collapsed, trembling on the floor as tears blurred my vision.
So you’ve been lying to me all along, huh, Elizabeth? All that holy talk and spiritual discipline were never real with me. It’s not just that our marriage was full of lies. It’s that you never once spoke to me with honesty.
The video kept playing, and I heard parents in the audience letting out sounds of admiration. Some even egged Elizabeth on to share more, asking if there were any particularly romantic moments between them.
Hearing that, I let out a bitter laugh. When Elizabeth and I first
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got together, I used to plan thoughtful little surprises for her too. But every time, her reactions grew colder and colder.
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She once told me flat out that she hated romantic gestures. That to someone on a spiritual path, romance was nothing more than a frivolous distraction–that sincerity mattered more than flair.
I, of course, believed Elizabeth. I then held back my affection and played along with her minimalism, thinking that would prove my sincerity. But all she did was break me, leaving me completely wrecked.
Then, her soft, gentle voice came through the video again, saying, “Of course, there were a lot of romantic moments between Mr. Harlow and me. He’s a very romantic man. He has surprised me so many times in so many ways.
“When we first started dating, he stayed up three nights in at row, secretly hand–weaving a purse for me. He was too shy to give it to me directly, so he pretended I’d won it in some giveaway. I still remember how exhausted he looked. He was yawning and even had dark circles under his eyes. And right then, I just knew that he was the one.”
With that, Elizabeth and Callum laced their fingers together, sharing a loving gaze before she continued, “I’ve kept that purse to this day. And then there was this one night, shortly after we got married. I happened to complain about the bland food at work, and that evening when I got home, he’d cooked a whole feast just for me.
“Every single dish was one of my favorites. Later I found out
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he’d spent half the day running all over the city hunting down the best ingredients. He even burned his hands cooking that meal, but he didn’t even care.”
Then, Elizabeth raised Callum’s hands and kissed them. tenderly, right there in front of everyone.
She said, “That’s a memory I’ll cherish forever. I remember scolding him for being so silly, but he told me he didn’t regret it. He said if it could make me smile, it was all worth it.
“And then once, when I had a high fever, he stayed by my side for three days straight, only collapsing after I was admitted to the hospital. He said my life mattered more than his…”
With every story Elizabeth shared, more and more gasps and sighs of envy echoed from the crowd. But to me, each of those sounds felt like another knife twisting deeper into my chest.
Even though there was still a long stretch left in the video, I shut the laptop without a second thought. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Every sweet little moment in Elizabeth’s story felt like someone grinding salt into an open wound–slow, merciless, and impossible to sit through.
I choked out, “But I’m the one who did all of that for you.” My voice broke halfway through, the pain cutting so deep I couldn’t even feel anything anymore.
It turned out that Elizabeth wasn’t heartless or cold after all. She wasn’t some detached saint. Her indifference had always been reserved for me alone. She remembered everything I ever did for
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her, but she credited it all to another man like none of it had
ever come from me.
And the truth? It was never Callum’s to claim. She knew that.
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I had stayed up for three nights just to get her that designer bag. She took it with a half–hearted “thanks,” and after that, I never saw her carry it again. Every time I brought it up, she’d say she didn’t like the style. I spent weeks beating myself up, regretting not figuring out her taste before I placed the order.
There was that one lavish dinner I’d planned down to every last detail. She didn’t even touch it. Instead, she tore into me, saying a Buddhist would never accept something so excessive. And that if I could do something like that, I must not respect her at all.
I’d tried to explain, said I only wanted to make her smile, to see her happy. But Elizabeth didn’t care. She packed up and went to stay at the temple for a week. I remember my hands were covered in burns from cooking that meal–I’d always thought she just didn’t know.
But now I realized she saw everything. She just didn’t care.
There was also the time Elizabeth came down with a high fever. I’d taken leave from my team to look after her and stayed by her side day and night. When she told me to leave, I thought she was just being considerate, saying her life was more important than mine. But my loyalty only earned her disgust.
She said the fever was a test from the divine, a blessing in disguise. She told me not to come anywhere near her room and
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said I was filthy and ignorant.
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I felt so guilty about it that I couldn’t sleep. I threw myself into studying Buddhist teachings, trying to make sense of it. But no matter how much I read, I never found anything about illness being a blessing the way Elizabeth described it.
Back then, I thought maybe I just wasn’t smart enough to get it. It turned out now that it was just her excuse to push me away.
It wasn’t that Elizabeth didn’t understand my love. She just didn’t want it. Her heart belonged to someone else, and mine never even stood a chance.
I’ve got to admit that this is on me, Elizabeth. My mistake was ever meeting you in the first place.
The worst kind of sorrow was when the heart simply gave up. I had no tears left. What came in their place was a quiet kind of relief. Maybe it was luck, maybe fate, but those last few hours gave me all the answers I’d been denied for years.
It really needs to end now. This joke of a marriage has gone on long enough. She shut her heart to me a long time ago in the name of devotion. And I need to finally let go.
I went to the hotel front desk, asked for some paper and a pen, and wrote my farewell letter: [Elizabeth, whether you agree or not, whether you’re in your religious abstinence period or not, this is the end of the road for us. I’m letting you and your first love, Callum, be together.]
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[Gideon is your biological son, isn’t he? I just don’t get it. If hiding it was such a burden and being with me was so exhausting, why’d you even marry me?]
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[You made me realize just how pathetic these past five years have been. Not gonna lie, I cried so hard I ran out of tears. But none of them were for you. I cried because I finally saw how little I was worth.]
[As your husband, I hate you with everything I’ve got. But as a firefighter, I don’t regret saving the three of you from that hotel fire. And now, I’m heading back out on another mission. Just pretend I died out there, okay? Let this be the last thing between us. Consider this letter my final goodbye.]
