Chapter 4
The world went completely quiet in that moment.
Summer felt like something invisible had gripped her heart, squeezing so hard she could barely breathe. She just stood there, numb, watching as Alan wrapped his arms around another girl–comforting her, kissing her gently, whispering things that made her smile. Summer couldn’t move. She just stared as the two of them laughed together and finally disappeared from her view, like she was nothing.-
Alan had someone else.
That was the only thought left in her mind.”
Rain came down in torrents, soaking her through, but she didn’t even feel it. She stumbled down the street, empty–eyed, her mind stuck on that blinding, painful scene, playing it over and over again.
Twelve years. Twelve whole years.
Other than her parents, Alan had been the best thing in her life. He was so good, so kind, that sometimes she thought meeting him had used up all her luck in the world.g
He used to sneak in through her window late at night, his eyes shining with that cocky confidence, promising he’d always take care of her.
He was the boy who’d shielded her from bullies, putting himself between her and the world.
He was the man who’d stood up to his mother for her, blocking every cruel comment and unreasonable demand.
How did it all fall apart?
She thought about how his eyes used to hold only her, how his lips had only ever kissed hers–now he was kissing someone else. His hands, once so gentle with her, were now touching another woman.”
The pain in her chest was so sharp it felt like her heart was being torn to pieces.
She sat on the living room floor in the dark, the heavy silence pressing in on her. She barely noticed as she scrolled through the messages her housekeeper had sent. That’s when she learned the truth: after she found out she couldn’t have children, Alan’s mother, Marie, kept pushing him to find another woman to carry his child.
Alan had refused, again and again, because he loved Summer.
But then Marie started threatening to hurt herself–locking herself in the bathroom, slashing her wrists. One time, Alan found her covered in blood in the tub.
Eventually, he broke.%
He chose Lena–a girl who looked so much like Summer, but had nothing. No money, no family. Someone easy to send away when the time came.
At first, Alan couldn’t bring himself to touch Lena. He tried to stick to IVF, clinging to his guilt and his love for Summer. But then, one night, after too much to drink at a business dinner, he made a mistake. He thought Lena was Summer.
He slept with her. On Summer’s birthday.
Her birthday. While her husband was in bed with another woman.}
Summer laughed and cried at the same time, not sure if she was mourning her own misery or the irony of Alan’s “deep love.”
He used to say, “It doesn’t matter if we never have kids. You’re enough for me.”
But in the end, for the sake of a child, he ended up with someone else.
Alan, is this what you meant when you said you loved me enough to give up everything?
If he’d really wanted a child, he could’ve just told her. She would’ve left, heartbroken but willing, so he could have the family he wanted.
But he shouldn’t have told her he loved her while building a life with someone else. He shouldn’t have tried to keep both.
Summer’s hands shook as she put her phone down and looked around their home–the place that was supposed to be their safe haven.
Everywhere she looked, she saw proof of their love: the mugs they found together at that little market, the old records he bought her every anniversary, the couch where he’d first confessed his feelings.
She’d once told Alan that, when they were old, they’d give this house to their children so happiness could live on here.N
Now, all she felt was heartbreak.S
She went for the toolbox, pulled out a hammer, and started smashing &
She smashed the wedding photo on the wall.
She smashed the furniture they’d picked out together
She smashed every single gift Alan had given her over the years.
She kept smashing -until everything was broken, until nothing was left but shattered memories.
She smashed until there was nothing left to break
